someday ill find what im looking for
for now ill reach for the stars

look up dad
look at the stars
tell me
have they changed?
they look the same
thank God they look the same

please tell me your proud of me
one last time please

im not happy
i cant sleep
i should be happy but im not
there is a thorn in my side and its slowly killing me

ok so the dream was this
i was invited to a party and when i got there mark tom and travis from blink-182 was there
it was so cool
mark and me were taking myspace pictures
tom and me were making dick jokes
and travis was drunk off his ass and he was hugging me saying "i love you man" and im all "i love you too but i think you need to sit down"
it was like we were best friends
then at the end of my dream they invited me to tour with them and im all HELL YA!
lol
then i woke up and realized it was a dream :(
it was a kick ass dream though XD

i dont think ill ever get over it

at the beginning of our relationship we were always giddy and i loved it
our txts would be long and full of love
and so i hoped that wouldnt change
buuuuuuuuuut
it did
our txts are short and boring
i havnt changed but it seems like she has
its different and i can feel it
at first i thought she was cheating but she told me that she loves me and that she would never do that to me
well i wish she could prove it
if there was a way to
sigh
i know im just being paranoid
i just dont ever wan to lose her

fuck my shame

fuck my pride

fuck my pity

but most of all

fuck my innocence

good guys finish last
ill walk the next lap
no need to rush

the beginning of today was great ;]
theeeeen it got awkward

note to self --> make sure moms gone when stuff goes down haha

now i just have to awate my punishment

awkwardness when my mom gets home tomorrow
BIGTIME

1 to 17

ill never be half the man he was